Revenge of the Mary Sue
by jumpbunnyjump
Summary: It's the worst form of fangirl that somehow stumbles (actually, forces) her way into the Sengoku Jidai Era... DUMDUMDUMMM (insert jaws theme) In spite of Mary Sue's best efforts, an IK


**A/N**: How terribly exciting. My tamagotchi has just turned into a grownup! After… what, 2 days? They grow up so fast, don't they…

Anyway. Prologue told Memento style, in the reverse. Because I have too much time on my hands, possibly. Er. Kind of my first fanfiction since a very, very long time, so reviews would be good to let me know what to do. Right up there with chocolate.

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**Revenge of the Mary-Sue: Prologue**

when there's a will, there's a way

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Shippo raised tiny furry paws in satisfaction as the group walked along.

"Another perfect morning!" he sighed contentedly, "Birds are a-chirping, blue skies a-drifting…"

"And Inuyasha and Kagome a-quarrelling." Miroku finished wryly.

"It's not _my_ fault your fucking whatever-you-call-it-on-wheels fell over and got dented! You sat me!"

"And it's not my fault _you_ chose to, and may I say, with new depths of immaturity, fight with Kouga right next to it!"

"Keh!" came the explosive snort from the hanyou, ears a little dented, ego a little bruised from the crashing fall not so long ago.

"Keh!" he once more repeated, frustrated with his inability to convey the point to Kagome, how his blood screamed "Wolf! Kagome! Wolf! Kagome! Ah!", promptly exploding with a gush of rage as soon as he saw her, as he felt, fraternising with the enemy.

Also the fact that wimpy wolf referred to her as "my woman", when very clearly…it just was not. Inuyasha shut that certain section of his brain down firmly before it even had had a fighting chance.

"Keh!" he said for good measure, just to annoy Kagome.

"That does it! Osuwari!" Kagome turned and stalked away from the dust cloud surrounding the Inuyasha-shaped hole in the earth.

Sometimes, swore Kagome to herself, he did it on purpose to provoke her.

Lying mouth in dirt, Inuyasha was swearing into the earth. He was quite uncomfortably aware of the pressure on his bladder, only the feeling in his legs had not quite returned just yet.

Grumbling, swearing still, he caught up with the rest of the group only to find they had set up camp without him.

"I'm off for a piss." He declared, and the others vaguely nodded in his direction, each preoccupied with different tasks.

Relieving himself, he suddenly took note of a large hole in the ground. Large holes either meant tunnel, or giant foot-print. Inuyasha went over to investigate as he did up untidy knots in his hakama.

And then, suddenly, up popped a very grimy girl.

The girl screamed. Inuyasha yelled. Everyone came running.

"What on earth…?" Kagome gaped. She had been half-expecting to find a terrifying youkai, half-expecting to find Naraku in drag. 'Not that he already wasn't', she thought to herself distractedly. What she had not been expecting to find was Inuyasha holding a strange girl in modern clothing upside down, shaking her, demanding who the hell she was.

Sango was the first to close her mouth. "Put her down and bring her back to camp, Inuyasha. It's obvious she's not dangerous."

Inuyasha released his hold, and the girl dropped to the ground with an "Oof".

Back at the clearing, the girl seemed to stare at them with slightly appraising eyes. Up and down she looked Kagome, and Kagome stared right back, wide-eyed in pure surprise.

"Now, who are you, and why were you hiding in such a large hole?" Miroku talked kindly to her, thinking the girl was frightened into silence.

"If your village is being attacked by demons we can help." Sango put in, when not a word came out of the girl.

"You're from the future, aren't you?" it came as a stage-whisper from Kagome, who couldn't believe her eyes. 'Still,' she told herself, 'stranger things have happened in the Sengoku Jidai.'

"Uh…uh…" the girl found herself a little at a loss for words. "yeah?"

"Yeah." This time more firmly, "I came from a time in the future to the Sengoku Jidai. Dropped into a hole in the ground… I mean, a well."

"Some well," Inuyasha spoke up for the first time. "more like a large burrow. And how do you know you're in the past?" the last being added suspiciously.

"I'm… good at History?" the girl lied through her teeth.

"Wrong answer", snarled the hanyou, somehow incredibly suspicious of this curious girl that had come from Kagome's time, apparently. The weak excuse she'd given seemed to confirm his suspicions that she was a spy from Naraku. He bared his teeth frighteningly, but the girl unexpectedly didn't curl back in terror.

"Enough questioning," Kagome broke in, "She's clearly as lost, confused and terrified by your interrogation. Aren't you now, er…"

"Mary Sue." The girl replied.

"Right. Mary Sue-chan. You can come take a bath and rest first, then you can tell us your story." Kagome led her off toward the direction of a nearby river, while the girl turned to stare a little more at Inuyasha.

"Quit staring at my fangs!" Inuyasha shouted after the two disappearing girls.

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_3 HOURS EARLIER_

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Sweating and panting, a girl looked up as she wipe the sweat away from her brow. A large amount of earth surrounded her, a dark brown wall that rose ten feet. A circle of sky sat as a lid on top, moon embedded in its velvet darkness.

A thought crossed her mind that this was probably a coffin's last view. Shaking away the morbid thought, she bent to pick up a pickaxe, climbing to the top.

There, on the green grass in the middle of the local park in the middle of the night, she rested, tired from her labours.

She had been working since mid-morning, when the park had still been crowded with children hanging in rows on the jungle gym and mothers pushing their babies in perambulators around the winding footpath.

It had been about ten minutes after that she had started her toil that there cleared a noticeable circle around her area. No one had wanted to go near the weirdo who seemed to be a mentally-ill person who thought she was an oversized mole.

All the better for the girl, though, she preferred working without the gawping children that had stood around the rapidly widening hole in the ground before their mothers had come to take them away saying, "oh no, you must never laugh at the mentally disabled, sweetie."

All the while she had dug, and dug. A random toddler came to enquire if she was digging to "Pillydelfeeya". Pausing to think upon how well informed the infant was for a moment, she had raised her shovel and tunnelled further until she had struck – well, not an underground spring but probably the city's waterworks. A little water had dribbled out forming a shallow muddy pool at the bottom.

At last, now, in the softly shining light of the moon, it was finished.

"And God saw that it was good." She declared, flopping back, exhausted.

A few moments later, a muffled squeal and splat could be heard. Muddy and irritated, the girl climbed out of the well, well (bad pun intended), about as annoyed with the cosmic powers that be as a housefly is with clingfilm.

Cosmic powers had not reckoned with the obsessive, die-hard, energizer-bunny franticness of a fangirl, however. Pigheadedly, she closed her eyes, crossed her fingers, and tried again.

The mysteries of the universe never cease to boggle the mind and are rarely explained. This time, they let her through.

A blinding flash of light encapsulated her being as she fell, no, floated through the light toward the other end. Much like Alice had slid down the rabbit-hole, somewhat like Kagome had tripped into the Bone-eater's well, such she entered the feudal era.

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_24 HOURS EARLIER_

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A rather large sigh came from within the depths of a very plushy armchair. The owner of said sigh was staring with deadened glaze into the television screen directly in front.

As the last notes of a theme song waved off, there was a final flickering of colour and the screen blinked into a glossy blackness. Several dramatic curses ensued at this, followed by a half-eaten grape flung haphazardly in the direction of the set.

"Damn it," said a girl as she attempted to stand up from the armchair, key word unfortunately being attempted. An uncomfortable although not altogether unfamiliar sensation prickled from her back to her toes.

"Pins and needles." She grunted, walking stiffly around the room for a while. It was not a very small room, but it gave the appearance of apologetically being so, crowded as it was by the owner with miscellaneous merchandise. The walls of the room were entirely plastered with posters, the floor with disc covers. An unfortunate action figure or two were stuck in the crevices of the furniture.

After a round or two, the girl stopped, as something seemed to sink into her consciousness.

"What am I to doooo…?" she wailed, the picture of abject misery, or, perhaps, that of a fangirl when one has come to that unavoidable conclusion to a series.

Bored as hell within ten seconds of deprivation, she tried counting the cracks on the wall, multiplying them by the square of the times Kagome had sat Inuyasha (memorised fact). While she had certain strong points, math had never been amongst them. While the teacher had been explaining the integrating of ylnx, she had been busy plotting the points of Inuyasha's fangs onto the graph paper and joining them together.

"One." She proclaimed, solemnly, calculations complete, though not entirely accurate.

She was, in fact, by all means the sweetest-natured of girls when still on her daily feed of Inuyasha, unfortunately, the supply had stopped whilst the demand had by no means followed suit. Due to a regrettable (genetic, possibly?) flaw of hers, she turned positively maniacal when deprived of her obsession.

As any creature with half a brain cell would proceed to ask, then what on earth would she do when that terrible fate befell her as the series came to an end?

An obvious answer would naturally appear to be, oh, of course, fanfiction.

Been there, done that, spat it out too. "Why is it always Kagome this, Kagome that", the fangirl said snippily.

"And don't even get me started on Sango!" She pointed an accusing finger at the plasma screen that rippled sympathetically in response, while the other hand grasped an Inuyasha figurine protectively, shielding its eyes from a large summary in caps exclaiming, "INU/KAG DO IT AT LAST!!"

No, absolutely no fanfiction for this fangirl.

The answer, for her, was incredibly simple and about as clear as a large glacier about to hit a ship. She'd have to simply travel to the world of Sengoku Jidai and integrate herself with Inuyasha and company, steal Inuyasha and have his babies. Smiling to herself, she skipped merrily away, gathering a large shovel and pickaxe, once more the happy little fangirl, now with a foolproof solution.

Then again, of course, there had been the Titanic.

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**Weird Notes**:

1.Here's something interesting. Can anyone figure where Mary Sue lives? Heehee.  
2.I wrote the "last half" first, during my GCSE A-Math exam (where I snitched the ylnx equation off). Well, obviously after I'd finished the paper. Was dead bored, had 2 pages of crappy script paper left. Well, we'll see what I get for my math…


End file.
